Saturday, September 24, 2011

Breathing In

It all started with a dream.  In it, I was talking to Amy, one of owners at The Steeping Room.  We were in a stark white room, sun shining through the windows, and amidst our pleasant conversation, she turned from me and said, "It's a hot mess."  Confused, I asked her, "What is?"  And still facing away from me, she simply replied, "Your blog."

Now this is a curious parallel, since I recently met with Amy to help her with the restaurant's blog, Tea Tales.  She appreciated the appearance and organization of The Canary Files and wanted hers to look more "artistic."  When I woke, the first thing I did was check the blog.  In the days previous, I had added a few more gadgets and widgets, and while they were certainly fun, I began to wonder if my subconscious was communicating that perhaps I should "reel it in."

The next development didn't take place until a few days later (three days ago, to be exact).  I was looking through the Twitter newsfeed for @thecanaryfiles and noticed postings from an author I had never seen before.  He was bantering back and forth playfully with @glutenfreegirl, and curiosity peaked, I visited his webpage, Eat the Love.  And that's when my jaw hit the floor.

It was beautiful, polished, and abundantly informative without being overly busy or overwhelming.  Approachable, insightful, quirky, and masterful, all at the same time, I was drawn in not only by the creativity of his baking, but how enticing his recipes were, both sensually and intellectually.  And what really got me was his philosophy on the practice of baking and why he loves it so much.  Passion for days.

And naturally, as I ogled his blog, I couldn't help but compare mine to his.  And that's when "hot mess" began to make a lot more sense.

I would be happy to say that in discovering his blog I was inspired from the very start.  But that would be a lie.  In all honesty, at the outset, I felt pretty horrible as impulses of taking my site down flitted through my head.  I felt inferior, foolish, and amateur, with a glass that I couldn't even say was half-empty.  And for those of you that know me, you understand that it takes a lot to get me to that point.  But it comes from loving what I'm sharing on this blog so, so much.  A piece of me goes into every word I write, every photo I take, every recipe I share.  So much more than just a reflection of my diet or of my point of view, this blog is a direct reflection of me as a person.  And in that moment, I didn't feel very good about that reflection nor the person behind it.

Now while I may have started in a rather dark place, rest assured that I've made some headway towards filling my glass in the last few days.  I've started making changes aimed at decluttering and refocusing the overall appearance.  I've edited out some of the gadgets, and made the photos more prominent.  And  from this experience, I'm now blessed with a renewed sense of purpose for The Canary Files, for what it is and what it will be.

The blog is a work in progress, I understand that, and inevitably it will continue to change and evolve.  But rather than coming from a place of shame or defeat, those changes will come from my desire to clear a path to those who may follow on this "path of dietary difference."  Rising to those challenges placed in front of me and becoming stronger and more confident with every step.  Paying inspiration forward.

You can't always help where you start a journey.  
But where you go from there - that's a different story.

If you feel so inclined, I would love to hear your feedback.  The good, the bad, the ugly - I'm all ears.  Have an amazing weekend. :)

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Thank you so much for visiting The Canary Files. I hope you have enjoyed what you have read and seen. Your feedback is valuable to me and I read and reply to every single comment. So sincere thanks in advance for sharing not only your thoughts, but your time as well.

All the Best,

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